V. Young Greeks in the Maritimes

V.1 Students

Young Greek Canadians have led very different lives from their parents and grandparents who first came to this country. In general they are better educated than their elders. They usually have had relatively comfortable lives enriched by a solid home, good schooling, plentiful leisure time, and frequent travel. They have certainly never known the horrors of war, the lack of food, and the poverty which drove the older generations out of Greece. Given all the benefits that the younger Greek Canadians enjoy, they also face difficulties and personal stresses, which were not characteristic of an earlier time. At the beginning of a new millennium the employment picture in Atlantic Canada offers only limited opportunities to all young people. Many who want good jobs-Greeks and non-Greeks alike-must leave and go to other provinces and bigger cities. In a reversal of the voyage which brought the earlier Greeks to Canada, some young Greek Canadians now have gone to work, marry, and establish homes in a newly prosperous Greece. Those young Greeks who remain in the Maritimes struggle with something of an identity crisis. When asked about their identity, they tend to answer, "I am Greek" or "Greek Canadian." Although born in this country, when they speak of "Canadians", they obviously mean the wider, non-Greek community in Canada, which they see as somewhat different from themselves.

It is impossible to interview all the individuals to whom one would like to talk, but recently (1996-99) the author managed to conduct about forty interviews with young Greek Canadians in Nova Scotia between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five. In this group most of those interviewed lived at home with their parents, or were away at university. Most were born and had lived all of their lives in Nova Scotia, but two of the young men who were brothers had lived for several years in the Middle East and Cyprus with their parents, and attended elementary school there. One young woman in the group had also lived and attended school in Greece. Several students had parents one of whom is Greek, and one is not. In our interview group one student is a third-generation Greek whose father and mother, both of Greek descent, were also born in the Maritimes. All the others had at least one parent who was born in Greece or Cyprus. Most had close family members living in Greece or Cyprus whom they had seen either when they and their families visited there, or when their family members came to Canada to see them. Some of the students had been to Greece many times to visit family there, while others had only been once or twice. With instruction in the Greek language at home and in Greek school, most of them were reasonably fluent in Greek. Most of these students had close relatives living in Atlantic Canada, and several of them had Greek cousins living within one or two streets of their homes.

As a group they tended to be very close to their families. The younger ones in particular spent considerable time with their families, went out socially with them, and participated in family activities, often centered around the Greek Church. Now in her twenties and looking back at her own childhood, Niki Fasoulis remarked: " I always grew up with other young Greeks, because my parents knew their parents and it was safe to do things together. I was allowed to go to their homes and sleep there. I tried to please the Greeks. I wanted to be accepted." Fifteen-year-old Stella Athanasiou said that she and her mother talked all the time, and that her mother was very concerned that they communicate freely as mother and daughter. She said that although there were constant conversations between her mother and herself, she knew that her father must be consulted for any important decision affecting his daughter. Stella's grandmother lived with the family, and her granddaughter relished all the special Greek food her grandmother prepared for them. Seventeen year-old Angie Lozos said that her father constantly reminded everyone that they had to guard and protect their family's good reputation. Angie herself remembered how much she enjoyed helping her late mother with all her work as president of the Philoptochos Society. Angie looked forward to following in her mother's footsteps in her own future involvement with the Philoptochos.

Since education was so much a part of the group's current focus, it was worthwhile spending some time considering it. Half of the students were still in high school at the time of the interviews, while the rest were in, or had just finished with university. Three of the students interviewed were in universities outside the Maritimes in Montreal, Toronto, and New Hampshire. Several students thought that they would do graduate work, probably in Canada, but possibly outside this country. One wanted to attend graduate school in Greece, and several were in graduate or professional programs in a Maritime university at the time of the interview.

The students were asked to evaluate the education they had received in Canada, and were asked whether they could compare it with education in Greece or Cyprus. Most expressed general satisfaction with their Canadian education, but they said that from personal experience and from reports of family and friends, they thought that school programs in Canada were easier than those in Greece, and that there was less heavy grounding here in basic subjects such as math. Some of the students were able to make critical judgements of the educational systems in both countries. Stacey Karteroulis, for example, said that she preferred her education in Greece at the elementary and high school levels because they studied a broader range (that is, more) subjects in Greece than in the Canadian schools. However, when it came time to attend university, Stacey preferred to come to Halifax, where she attended Saint Mary’s University while living with close relatives. Expressed in different ways, the following sort of remark which came from Tina Piper was fairly common. "Canadian education is a social experience. Greek education is a didactic experience…In Greece education is very book-dependent. In Canada it's much easier. Greek teachers are not approachable." Several of the others who were interviewed contrasted that difference between the friendly, approachable Canadian teachers and the rather aloof, distant teachers they had heard about or studied with in Greece. On another point, fifteen year old Evan Boukistianos, one of the brothers who had spent time living in Cyprus said, " My friends in Cyprus spend more time studying languages. In terms of second languages they know more English than we learn French." Perhaps because they had lived all their lives with two languages, English and Greek, some students were interested in the acquisition of still other languages, and told us that they were studying German and/or Spanish.

When it came to payment for university tuition, most Maritime Greek students relied on their parents, scholarships, and money they earned themselves rather than on student loans. One girl said, "It's a good thing that our parents work hard and want to pay for our education. They don't expect anything in return. Unfortunately some of my friends take advantage of this privilege. That's why I wanted to pay for my own education. If I did badly, then I'm to blame." Coming from a community with a strong work ethic, and realizing how hard their parents have had to struggle to provide their families with a decent life in this country, most of the young Maritime Greeks interviewed were excellent, hard working students.

This age group had friends who were Greek and friends who were not Greek. Some of them told us that they "hang out" with other young Greeks almost on a daily basis, while others saw one another only at large gatherings, usually associated with the Church. They told us that they mostly kept their Greek and "Canadian" friends separate, since they thought that their non-Greek friends would not understand many of the Greek customs, and they certainly would not understand the Greek language. Two or three of the girls said that their best friends were Lebanese girls. When asked about this, they said that they felt comfortable with the Lebanese girls because they, like the Greek girls, lived with certain restrictions on their freedom, and knew that to be a female in a Mediterranean-based culture was a different experience from the typical "Canadian" upbringing. When asked about friendships among the Greek themselves, one girl said, "The Greek youths are a lot closer than a lot of Canadian people. The guys are more comfortable with each other…they embrace. Canadian people would be quick to say, 'Oh they are gay.' but they are not."

These young people enjoyed a variety of leisure time activities. Two girls gave television and radio as their first choice for entertainment, but Tina Piper calls TV "the opiate of the people, which turns people into passive participants in life instead of active ones. That's why I don't watch TV." Several enjoyed reading and visiting with family or friends. Many of these young Greeks belonged to the church related GOYA, and some of the university students belonged to the newly reactivated Hellenic Student Association in the Halifax area. Almost all of them did Greek dancing, or participated to some degree in Greek dance classes. They constantly mentioned that activity as important for them in maintaining a Greek identity.

The young people were very interested in sports. While they liked a variety of sports, soccer ranked highest for the boys. Given the traditional wild enthusiasm which soccer engenders among Greek men, this was not at all surprising. But these Canadian Greek boys did not just follow professional soccer matches on television, as their elders did. They were themselves keen players. The girls also enjoyed sports such as field hockey, volleyball, and soccer or they participated in some sort of active exercise routine such as walking or aerobics. The girls' sports enthusiasm sometimes caused some concern for their parents. One girl reported that "I was never allowed to join the soccer team. School was first. Lunchtime sports were ok, but not those after school. They didn't know that I played sports like hockey and soccer…I would just say that I had to stay late at school." Another girl added, "My parents won't let me play sports. They think it's masculine."

Friendships and love interests between boys and girls are important for most young people, and young Canadian Greeks are no exception. For them, however, there are sometimes extra difficulties. When asked if they thought they would have a better and happier life married to someone of Greek, Greek Canadian, or non-Greek origin, the answers varied but the question always sparked considerable interest. Most girls and boys in this age group said that they preferred the idea of marrying a Greek Canadian. The following type of answer from the girls was common: "I couldn't see myself marrying a 100% Greek man. Greek men are chauvinistic. I would not want to work or live all the time in Greece. It would be easier to communicate with a Greek Canadian. It would make my parents happier and would make life easier."

Anastasia Mastrogiannis made a thoughtful comment on the subject: "I think it is both possible for me to be unhappy married to a person of non-Greek background and to someone from a Greek background. I think that naturally, however, we become attracted to people who we can identify with and see part of ourselves in. Ideally I would have more in common with someone that is Canadian Greek, because we have more in common. It would be difficult for me to be married to someone who only spoke English or only Greek, because I feel that I would be losing a part of myself."

In a recent interview Danai Sfalagakos expressed herself this way: "I'm very Greek in certain ways and I would like to completely share this aspect with my husband. For example, even if he were to make the effort to learn about my culture, it's not the same. I can't explain it. Also, marrying a Greek would be easier for my parents - they could communicate perfectly with him and his family. The final consideration is religion. I am Greek Orthodox and changing my religion is not an option for me."

This group was also asked whether they had gone out with girls/boys from a Canadian Greek background and/or from a non-Greek background. Most of them answered that they had dated both Greeks and "Canadians". The question provoked more spirited discussion among the girls than among the boys, since the girls’ parents were often very protective of them, and very concerned that they not become objects of gossip in the local Greek community. One seventeen-year-old girl had plenty to say on the subject of dating:

"Greeks here of my parents' age have a double standard for us. Males are encouraged to date. For a girl, the rule is no dating and no small parties with non-Greeks. I can go to big school parties, if I ask. I could never have a boyfriend to whom I was not engaged. There are so many things that I am not allowed to do that my Canadian friends do. I just wish my parents would trust me more. I know what is right and wrong, I dislike ideas like easy abortion and I would think long and hard about premarital sex. Our parents haven't changed in their attitudes to dating since they came here in the 1950s. Attitudes to sex and dating have changed in Greece but not here in the Maritimes."

Some of the older ones interviewed spoke quite candidly about their relationships with caring, non-Greek men and women who respected and admired their Greek background. In this modern attitude to love and affection outside marriage they were very much like their non-Greek friends in Canada - and like many young Greeks in the cities of Greece today.

We asked the students what the criteria are for being Greek. Birth, language, culture, and religion were very common answers to that question. When they were asked to define Greek culture, the students tended to think of Greek history, literature, food, and dance. However, when we asked them about their favorite music, most said that while they enjoyed listening to Greek music at Greek functions, they never played it when they were alone or choosing a tape for the car. Then they played whatever was popular among the rest of North American teens at the time.

Being Greek in the Maritimes usually means following the Greek Orthodox faith. How did the young people see the church in relation to their own lives? About one half of the students interviewed attended St. George's Greek Church in Halifax on a regular basis and were very comfortable with their religion. The other half did not attend church in any regular way, and they said that they attended church more in their younger years. One boy remarked, "Attendance in church is down. It doesn't play the role it used to any more." One of the girls remarked, "A lot of people see church as a social gathering place instead of a religious setting." When asked if they thought the life of the Greek Church in Canada was changing, and if they would like to see more changes in the church, some students noted with approval the increasing use of English in the services. The girls grumbled because some people in the congregation at St. George's reacted negatively, if they wore slacks or jeans to church. Such things as the growing use of English in church and a definition of what is regarded as an acceptable dress code are examples of social practice. In any society or community such practices exist in a certain state of flux, and a given generation may not recognize that permanent changes are taking place.

More difficult for some young Greek Canadians in the Maritimes are certain traditional Orthodox positions. Like some of the adults, at least two students questioned what they viewed as the negative stance of the Greek Orthodox Church towards other religions and other Christian denominations, particularly the Roman Catholic Church. Some young women in the Maritime Greek community wanted to see changes in Orthodox attitudes to women and to find more involvement of women in the management and public life of the church beyond their traditional roles as servers of food and supporters of good causes. One teenager told us, "When I was younger, I loved Sunday school. As I grew older I found so much of the teaching very male oriented and I got very disillusioned. Now I am trying to resolve all the conflicts I see in our religion, and I find it very hard." Another young woman remarked, "Girls cannot serve at the altar here, although the Greek Church in Toronto has altar girls. Why can't we?" In Halifax Father Theodore Efthimiadis is aware of the concerns expressed by the young people, and he has said that he wants to work with them to make them more active in, and more comfortable as members of the Church. He has already instituted a practice whereby, on the first Sunday of each month young people play a large part in the morning service, and at least half the service is conducted in English. Individuals who want to see a more active participation by women in the life of St. George’s must be pleased by the recent (2000) election of Dr. Maria Alexiadis, who is in her thirties, as the new president of the Church Council.

The interviews sought to find out from the young people how comfortable they feel in Canadian society. They were asked whether the felt any tension in trying to be both Greek and Canadian. In addition, they were asked whether they thought that being Greek, or in general being from an ethnic community outside the mainstream English and French communities, resulted in a sense of being discriminated against or experiencing racial prejudice. Most said that they felt very comfortable in Canadian society. One girl remarked that she often felt lonely, but that she knew that was caused largely by her parents' restriction of her activities outside the Greek community. Savva Boukistianos, who had spent years living in Greece and Cyprus, said that he missed the weather, the people, and the sheer exuberance of life in Greece.

Some made remarks of the sort which suggested that they felt some tension between trying to conserve their Greek cultural background and still being a part of Canada. They said that they had noticed some discrimination and racial prejudice toward Greeks, even if this had not been directed against them personally. For example, two young men said that "Canadians are not always willing to understand that different groups of people have different traditions and different ways of behaving. At the Greek Festival or in other public performances, when groups of men dance together in the traditional dances, we hear all sorts of crude, racially-directed jokes, usually from the young, non-Greek men in the audience". One Greek girl said, "In school the other kids want to put people in boxes; they like to create stereotypes of the kind which say that all Lebanese and Greeks run grocery stores, or all Chinese are super smart". The Greek students were not above suggesting some stereotypes of their own. In the interviews they used remarks such as: "Canadian kids are not very motivated or ambitious." One student said, "Their ("Canadian") ways are different, and if I have a choice I will stay with the Greeks. The way the Canadians discipline their kids is not nearly strict enough."

In spite of some negative comments, usually these young Greek people said that they enjoyed both their Greek heritage and the Canadian environment in which they were living. Alethea Lacas of Halifax who is now in Medical School at Dalhousie University summed up her view of the positive features in Canadian life by saying, "I appreciate the various freedoms which we have here, the modern conveniences which we take mostly for granted, the educational system, the health care, and especially all the cultural opportunities."